Dear Nintendo: A Modest Proposal

I’m sure by now we’ve all heard about the gorilla in San Franciso who ended up playing with the wayward Nintendo DSi XL. I’m sure you’ve also heard that the incorrigible youth who so thoughtlessly dropped his DSi into the gorilla enclosure ended up getting his device back no worse for wear.

What you may not have heard, is that San Francisco Zoo staff were able to negotiate a trade with the gorilla to get the DSi back. What did they trade for it? An apple. That’s right, one apple.

Here is what I propose.

Nintendo, and specifically Donkey Kong, I will trade you one apple for a Nintendo DSi XL. While I did not drop my DSi or lose it in any way, I do have the ability to procure a delicious apple. In fact, I have the ability to get several apples, some bananas, and even peaches, if that’s what Mr. Kong (can I call you D.K.?) would prefer.

If you’re interested let me know and I can put the entire selection of goods in a barrel for D.K.