4cr Giveaway – Mini Ninjas

Because it’s a lot easier to surprise your enemy when you don’t have a talkative parrot on your shoulder.

Ninjas are such masters of speed that pirates would not even know they were attacked by a ninja. Only way a pirate would know of a ninja attacking them is if the ninja had to jump out of a plane to attack the pirates. If the ninja did jump out of a plane to attack some pirates, they would blow the ship up and use the explosion to get back to the plane. (Dr. McNinja story plot there)

The flamboyant pirates never see it coming. That is why they lose.

because pirates are already half dead from being at sea for so long… scurvy would just give the ninja another advantage

Ninjas have better hygiene.

Simple: variety.
Ninjas aren’t restricted by race or occupation.

Pirates, you got, what? Humans, undead and the occasional squid-person, and that’s it. Not only that- once they’re pirates, they’re pirates forever, end of story. Maybe slave-traders.

On the flip-side, hobbits can be ninjas, ogres can be ninjas (albeit bad ones), vampires can be ninjas, ghosts can be ninjas (despite the redundancy), along with humans, robots, centaur, octopi, furries, irish people, etc., et al. On top of that, ninjas are rarely members to solely the ninja guild. They can become doctors, musicians, breadmakers, spies, politicians, professional unicorn chasers, pimps, hoes, gamers, inventors (fact: Nicola Tesla was both vampire & ninja), and whatever else their little assassin hearts wish. Even pirates (True story. Ninjas don’t judge. They’ll just kill you later).

The ninjas, unlike those filthy swashbucklers, practice good personal hygiene, allowing them to be undetected through scent, therefore increasing the probability for preemptive strikes.
In turn, the sea-sickness-smelling scalawags are easily detectable by the staunch odor emanating from each and every “treasure cove” on their sandy vessels (possibly some crabs in thar booty, aye matey?), making it nearly impossible for the loud, smelly privateers to gain an upper hand or sneak up on the ninjas, providing the stealthy attackers ample opportunity to finish them off quickly and silently.

In today’s world of employment the amorality of pirates makes them less desirable for hiring because they could potentially embarrass the company with their questionable ethics. Not to mention their terrible hygiene, confrontational nature and the drinking problems most pirates have only make this worse.

Ninjas have discretion and are very well known for their incredible work ethic. Due to their rigorous never ending pursuit of self improvement, they will only become a greater asset to the company as time progresses. Not to forget, they are very loyal and you will never have to fear losing them to other companies.

A poor decision in hiring can cost you quite a bit, so its clear who you should show favor to when looking at job candidates.

The question is totally wrong since it’s the pirates that always win.

Poisen darts beat hook hands any day!

While pirates are only equipped to traverse land and sea, a skilled ninja finds the terrain is no obstacle, be it land, sea, sky, or the astral plane. Thus, pirates are at a perpetual disadvantage.

Because if I don’t choose ninja, the ninja secretly watching me will do me in instantly… What? You don’t see him!? He’s there! He’s always there! watching…

Arrrr! Ye be seekin’ to degrade me hearties honor in the quest of booty? Mighty piratish of ye, ye land lubbers!

Ninja’s don’t drink.

Ninja’s are masters of stealth.

Ninja’s have shurikens.

Pirates are drunk

Pirates are Loud

Pirates have hooks.

I rest my case.

Obviously ninjas are better because of all the intense training they must go through to achieve their status. Just think of all the schooling they must attend from a little child until they finally arrive at their goal of becoming a ninja.

Training with all kinds of weapons and honing their skills for so long makes them practically unstoppable.

Ninja requirements: Life of weapons and combat training
Pirate requirements: Rum

It’s just physics.

“Aye?? What be this talk about pirates beating ninjas? I for one be no ninja, but a pirate, and I’d be codswollopped if ninjas be better than me and my crew. Suuuuure, I heard about the deckhand’s little cousin arnie be taken down by one, clear cut in the middle, but my crew would never let that be happening on my ship. Well hell, even the other day I– hungh? wha be that? Avast! who here cut off all the lanterns?! I swear when I find out the salty sea-prick that-d do such a – WHOA what was that?! did anyone else see that blur? I swear I be —”

A cold scream is shreaked out onto the night’s air, bounding off the miles of sea around the ship. A new coat of blood paints the deck. A man sliced so perfectly down the middle, his beard’s hair is split udders his final words…

“dont go messin… around with… ninjas…”

The wind blows.

The Night becomes silent.

Pirates are clearly superior, they get all the booty and have exploring adventures on tropical islands, all with a west country accent and a big box of citrus if theyre brits. What do ninjas do, they sit in a lake for a bit and jump off roofs, thats what. Booring.

Because Ninjas have better weapons than pirates.

Because pirates only come ashore for grog drinkin’, which negatively effects their perceptiveness…and then BAM! Ninja’d!

What most people don’t know is that the ninja aren’t the ones that always beat pirates. In fact, it’s really the pirates that win. See, everyone–everyone being people ranging from the hapless denizens of the Pirates of the Caribbean series to that silly man Guybrush Threepwood of Monkey Island–knows that pirates, once stabbed to death with those pointy implements ninja carry around with them all the time, will just come back to life a couple of minutes later. But by that time, the ninja are already gone, going back to their masters to get their bounty (or whatever it is they kill for–I’m sure they’re not picky). That just leaves pirates to come back, undead, to plunder for all of eternity. Ninja are really just doing pirates a favor.

tl;dr — Why do ninja always win? Because pirates let them.

Ninjas USUALLY beat pirates in a fight because they forego personality and conversations skills in exchange for fightan skillz. Maybe they’re compensating for something else too, I don’t know.

Ninjas are thoroughbred.

Ninjas always beat pirates in a fight because ******* **** *** ***** **** **** ****

[This post has been ninja-edited to protect vital information.]

Obviously Ninjas always beat Pirates because they can slice up the Pirate’s peg legs into firewood with their katanas before the Pirates even know what hit them!

The ninja alights
On the point of the cutlass.
Depth perception helps.

Ninjas are highly skilled mysterious warriors. Pirates are alcoholic homeless criminals. Nuff said.

I was going to tell you why ninjas would beat pirates but I have a ninja holding me at shuriken point now not the give away their secrets….

Ninjas are better than pirates because they’re Asian, and everybody knows Asians make the best assassins.

Because Orlando Bloom would never earn a belt in Ninjutsu.

A ninja is the culmination of martial perfection. Unyielding. Indomitable. That, and they cheat.

Seriously, absolute devotion of both body and mind will only get you so far these days. They cheat. Plain and simple.

I’ve also heard that they eat their young.

So you’re a pirate.
You’re sailing the high seas in your magnificent pirate’s vessel, cruisin’ fer booty. Suddenly, a ninja appears! He’s charging across the deck at you at ninja speed! Where did he come from?! You reach into your pirate overcoat, fumbling to reach your pistol in time! But to your dismay, your pistol’s been replaced with….. another ninja!

Because Disney does not have a theme park dedicated to ninjas.
Its now in all pirate-Disney contracts that pirates cannot kill anyone, they must be multi-cultural in who they murder, not just good smelling Asians.
If the pirates were to even attempt a war against ninjas, Disney and all of its evil corporate mouse eared power would seize its assets, (mainly the pirates weapons, boats, and parrots) and leave the swashbucklers with nothing but a bottle of grog that they sorrowfully pass around each other, wishing they had been cast in Jim Henson’s Muppet Treasure Island.

Like dairy farmer,
Sneaky nija fight like cow;
Poison in the rum.

(I’m in the UK – just wanted to contribute ^^)

Currently, pirates are extinct.

Ninjas are right behind you.

It’s simple. To become a pirate, you must chop off one or more of your limbs so you can have a hook or peg-leg. Ninjas don’t have such silly rules and fight with all of their limbs.

the ninjas always stay on the blindside of the pirates, the sides with the patch. pirates can’t see them. ninjas gouge out other eyes with throwing stars. then beat the crap out of them.

Because pirates need to level grind more.

“YarrRrR! Aye finally level’d up maties. But curse Davy Join’s and his locker, I didn’t get any gold from tha fight!”.

Pirates use cannons, swords and guns to fight. By the time they light the fuse, unsheathe their sword or pull the trigger they’re already on their cold wooden coffin.

Well, when was the last time a pirate saw a Ninja that was trying to kill them? Right, never. Maaaaaaaaaaaaybe you could consider they saw them if the Ninja was doing some undervocer espionage on the Pirate base since Ninja’s disguised themselves to better understand their enemies and attack their weaknesses, but still the pirate didn’t know that the pirate standing next to him wasn’t a pirate.

Ninja’s by definition (and by requirement from their union) must never be seen by the enemy, they must use the shadows as their home and the wind as it’s messenger… which explains why Ryu Hayabusha had to be kicked out from the union A.S.A.P. and is now always fighting demons and other outcasts since no union card means no benefits or perks such as fight scheduling or APN charting (Acquiring of Pirate Nemesis ). I mean, the guy just went walking on the street, in plain view, fighting bikers when he could have gone for the shuriken stealth kill.

Finally, let’s face it, ninjas are in and pirates aren’t. Look at the game representation. Other than Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean games (rubish), Age of Booty and the DLC for Little Big Planet (again, based on Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean), what have we got? On the other hand, Ninja games include the mentioned outcast Hayabusha’s games, Mini Ninjas, I-Ninja, Izuna: The Unemployed Ninja, Ninja Five-O, Ninjatown, Mystical Ninja and too many other games to mention. Sure, there might be more games with Pirates in them, but who remembers any worth your money? Oh, and the Monkey Island games are disqualified since they don’t feature the word Pirate in their title. Plus, Guybrush ain’t a pirate-pirate per se.

Ninjazors alwayz beats the pilates ’cause they pop their exer-zize balls wit sharp nijaz tools

Ninja’s are clearly the superior selection as shown in the glorious Dr. McNinja.

Because Ninjas have better comic books! Think TMNT and Batman (trained by ninjas).

Because black belts hurt more than black beards.

Ninjas win because they make us win their games on 4 Color Rebellion, but pirates don’t.

This is a no brainer. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people. The purpose of the pirate is to get phat loot. Thus the ninja trumps the pirate.

Because a ninja can safely pick his nose.

Because monkeys can crew a ship, but only ninjas can ship a crew (to Davy Jones’ Locker).

Ninjas: you never see ‘em coming, then you’re dead.
Pirates: what’s with all the makeup and fancy garb? ’nuff said