This week I was sent a review copy of Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits for the DS. Removing the guitar peripheral – which is what made the series famous – is an odd, if not questionable step. But in the interest of system portability, it’s understandable why it had to be done. Instead of a plastic toy guitar, we have an add-on to the DS that plugs into the GBA game slot. We now have an emulation of an emulation of a guitar.

The Nintendo DS is one of the more ubiquitous gaming devices seen on public transit, and yet I had never seen anyone playing a Guitar Hero DS game in public. There are a few reasons for this. First, anyone playing this game immediately looks like an idiot, and not in the same way you look like an idiot playing certain Wii games. Second, the game requires you to yell at it to activate Star Power. Not going to happen on a crowded train. Lastly, and most importantly, the game is uncomfortable and bad for your wrists.

We live in an age where many careers involve sitting at desks for hours on end in front of a computer. Ergonomics is a giant industry, with good companies spending thousands of dollars on outside consultants to create comfortable work environments. A comfortable and happy employee, after all, is a productive one. So with this in mind, it’s strange to see such an uncomfortable device on the market. Does Activision really think that people will continue playing their game even though it hurts the user to play it?

There are the health warnings built right into the game screens – tips on how to hold the DS with the guitar attachment on it, as well as a note to take a break after fifteen minutes, are shown before each play session. But I found it impossible to hold the system with my wrist straight if I wanted to see what was happening on-screen. As such, I ended up hurting my left wrist on my first play session.

The song selection in Modern Hits isn’t the most compelling to me. As a fan of good music, I found the songs to be mostly insulting in regards to how boring and soulless most of them are. They’re the songs that record companies and radio stations have tried cramming into my ears, and that I have been successfully ignoring. The hell with Coldplay; record sales are neither indication of an album’s quality nor the artist’s talent. But people tend to like what they’re told to because they don’t know any better. Therefore terrible musicians with financial backing are allowed to succeed. But I like modern music; I just don’t like modern hits.

While I do enjoy the console editions of the Guitar Hero games (perhaps too much, even), the On Tour offshoot comes across as a blatant cash-in attempt. The whole point of Guitar Hero, and what made it so popular, is that it made regular schmucks like me feel as if we were actually playing the guitar. It made us feel like we were rock stars. Modern Hits is not only awkward to play, but also not much fun. Since you’re likely not going to play this in public, you’re better off sticking with the console versions.