Hello rebels, John Reynolds here. I love boardgames. You should love boardgames. That’s why it’s time for a little intro to the wonderful world of games that don’t rely on one of those new fangled, fancy television contraptions. So join my in the first of many posts on the wonders of boardgaming.

With that said, there will always be those who laugh, scorn, and yes, even scoff at the mere thought of playing a board game. Well that’s just fine and dandy. Go ahead. Scoff away. While you’re wasting your life scoffing at people, I’m going to be over here, talking about board games. And engaging in the original multiplayer gaming fun time.

Ahem, now with that out of that way, let’s get started. From my experiences, and I have many, I find that when it comes to board games, people usually fall within two categories, or types of gamers. People aren’t always on the extreme side of the spectrum one way or the other, but at the very least everyone should be somewhere in between. Here I will illustrate these two types, so you can determine just which category you fall into.

Board Gamer Type #1:

Name: Monopoly Jones

Description: Plays Monopoly and Life, and if he’s feeling adventurous, even Clue

Here we have the most common type of board gamer, Monopoly Jones. From here on out, for the sake of both your eyes and my hands, we’re going to call him MJ. Now before you get all excited, while there is a slight chance MJ may look like Mary Jane from the Spider Man movies, the odds aren’t in your favor. And just so you don’t keep thinking about Kirsten Dunst, let’s go ahead and say MJ is a guy. There.

Anyway, so MJ thinks he likes board games. He’s played them before with his family and friends when he was younger, and still enjoys a good game of Monopoly or Risk, should the idea strike his fancy.

What is really going on is that MJ is undecided when it comes to board games. Why is he undecided? He simply hasn’t been exposed to any other types of board games. Games like Monopoly, Life, Yatzee, Risk, Clue, etc. are all considered in the board gaming world to be American games. In my opinion, there is nothing particularly wrong with any of these games, and they can be very enjoyable. (One exception would be Monopoly, as you could reupholster your couch, build a credenza, go on a small vacation, and still have time for lunch before a game is actually finished.)

However, something you need to be aware of before you make you foray into board games is that many “seasoned” board gamers (Type #2) will refer to these games as Ameritrash, and will often look down on them, citing that they are nothing more than simple, luck-based dicefests, abominations of plastic and cardboard which should be banished from the board gaming land. Even mentioning one of these games to a Type 2 will at the very least get you an incredulous look from across the table.

Anyway, most of the board games we will be talking about in this column will be games that MJ has never heard of. And that’s ok, I’m here to educate as well as entertain. So for the most part, MJ is an unwritten book, and his board gaming career will go one of two ways. He will either continue on in his blissful ignorance of the world of board games, saving a lot of money in the process, or someone will offer him a game of Settlers of Catan, or perhaps Ticket to Ride, and the seed for his future will have been planted.

Moving on:

Board Gamer Type #2:

Name: Reiner Moon

Description: Has a vast collection of board games, organized alphabetically, chronologically, or in some cases, both. (Not really possible, but you get my point.)

Ah yes, Reiner. This is who you see when you walk into a game shop. He’s usually sitting down, with his right hand on his chin, his left hand clutching some cards, or perhaps some dice. He’s deep in thought, as if pondering the mysteries of the universe.

In reality, the only thing he’s pondering is what his next move is. Oh sure, he’s thinking about other stuff, perhaps the faint awareness that he hasn’t showered in what he would consider “a while”, and that his hand, the one that is at this very moment rubbing his chin, is covered with the contagious remnants of a now empty Cheetos bag.

Ok, so I’m exaggerating. Not all Type 2’s have hygiene issues, or even like Cheetos. I myself am a Type 2, so take what I say with a dash of humor. My point is that these guys are gamers. Most of the time, they know their board games. Even if they don’t know their board games, they act like they do anyway. These guys are the hardcore gamers, the ones that either own a lot of games, or have at the very least read about and played lots of them.

The most important site ever given to a board gamer is boargamegeek.com. This is the best spot to talk about, review, and pretty much learn about everything and anything that relates to board games. If you want to get into board games, that’s the best place to start.

Ok, so we’ve got our two types of gamers. No matter where you categorize yourself, (even if you are some kind of in-between monstrosity) this column should appeal to you. Every two weeks, I’ll be talking about board games in every shape and form. (That includes Tabletop and Card Games.) Sometimes I’ll be reviewing them. Sometimes I’ll be showcasing an upcoming one. Either way, you should be able to get your board gaming itch scratched.

Till next time,

Johnny