I went into Michael Bay’s Transformers tonight expecting bad dialogue, ridiculous cliches, overblown music, blatant product placement, laughable pseudo-patriotism, bad robot designs, and at least a decent amount of stupid fun. I got all that.

What I got in addition was quite possibly the single greatest piece of so-bad-it-rocks summer blockbuster entertainment I’ve ever experienced. My wife and I sat there grinning from ear to ear for the film’s entire 140 minutes, mouths hung wide open like five year-olds during every action scene and laughing at all the stupid stuff. Overall, an absolute blast.

Michael Bay is, to me, the Ed Wood of mainstream Hollywood; the equivalent of a B-movie director who possesses an oddball stroke of genius. What amazes me is how passionate he is about his corny, overblown style of filmmaking. In all reality, he’s the polar opposite of my favorite directors — David Lynch, Terence Malick, Danny Boyle, et al — but ever since seeing The Island third row back a couple years ago, I’ve found myself in awe of the man and his twisted brand of pyrotechnic brilliance.

To illustrate, watching one of his action sequences reminds me of watching myself as a little boy, smashing my toy trucks and robots together, teeth clenched, saliva-gurgling sounds coming from my mouth. I don’t know about you, but the crazy stuff I imagined in my mind back then was very similar to the stuff Michael Bay orchestrated for The Island and Transformers. It’s as if he’s a kid who decided never to grow up, and he’s proud to flaunt it. As another guy who’s still a kid on the inside, I can’t help but respect that, even if his work is totally ‘incompatible’ with my taste.

So is the movie ‘bad’? Heck yeah! It’s terrible! As ridiculous as the whole affair is, though, I can’t help but admit that I loved every single minute of it — the characters, the relationships, the story, everything. Shia LeBeauf was perfectly energetic and jumpy, his dream girl played her part to a T (and cliches or not, was actually way cooler than I thought she’d be), Optimus & gang were just plain rad, and their group chemistry was great.

I was surprised at how many times the interaction between the kids and the robots had me cracking up, due in large part to the fact that ILM accomplished some really good physical humor through the animation. Added to that, I really felt an emotional connection to the Autobots, especially Bumble Bee, whose final wounded blaze of glory is too cool for words. Oh, and LA’s legendary Griffith Observatory — of Rebel Without a Cause and Rocketeer fame — even makes an appearance, which is always a plus in my book.

More than anything else, I’m just tired of movies that pretend to be something they’re not, and that’s probably why I liked Transformers so much — it is what it is, it’s proud to be that, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously. The designs may not be as cool as the originals, and it may be a big, dumb Michael Bay movie, but at the end of the day, it’s incredible fun, and a perfect way to escape your troubles and the summer heat for a few hours.

I never dreamed in a million years that I’d pay to see a Michael Bay flick more than once in the theater, but I think I might have to do just that with Transformers. It was like drinking Jolt Cola for two and a half hours straight, and I already want some more ;)