Yes ladies and gentlemen, the triumphant return of Cooking Rebels! Today we tackle that delicious Italian treat loved by Garfields everywhere, lasagna! Albeit an americanized lasagna.

Lasagna is one of my favorite foods, and also great fun to make, at least in my opinion. Do you dare learn the black magics used to make the worlds most delicious (and deliciously simple) lasagna? If you’re feeling brave, read on!

Our lasagna starts with some simple ingredients:
1 tub of cottage cheese
1 brick of cream cheese
1 can tomato paste
1 can tomato sauce
1 brick frozen spinach, thawed and thoroughly squeezed dry
1 jar spaghetti sauce (Classico Triple Mushroom - yum)
Handful of fresh basil
Some good mozzarella cheese
No-boil lasagna noodles (a lazy mans best friend)
1 lb Original flavor breakfast sausage. You heard that right.

Mise en place

Brown and crumble the sausage over medium-high heat. Once thoroughly browned, add in 3/4ths of the can of tomato paste. Cook for another few minutes until the tomato paste starts to darken in color and smell sweet. Deglaze with either a splash of good red wine, or water for you under-21 types.

Can you smell it? Of course you cannot. How mean of me.

After that, add in the jar of spaghetti sauce, 3/4ths of the can of tomato sauce, 3/4ths of the tub of cottage cheese, and 3/4ths of the brick of cream cheese, cut into 1 inch cubes. Cook together until the cottage and cream cheeses melt together, and add in the spinach. Mix it all together well. Finally, add in a chiffonade of good fresh sweet basil.

Pretty!

Once it’s all mixed together, start layering it in your baking dish of choice. Start with a bit of sauce on the bottom (to prevent sticking) and layer the sauce and noodles one after another until you run out of noodles. Top with any leftover sauce you have, and top that with the mozzarella cheese. Cover in aluminum foil and bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 35 minutes. After 35 minutes passes, remove foil and allow to bake for an additional 10 minutes, to get the mozzarella all golden brown and delicious. Remove from oven and allow to set for 10 minutes before cutting into it, to allow your lasagna time to firm up. Slice into whatever size portion you prefer, and serve with your favorite garlic bread.

C’est la vie!

Lasagna is something that, once it’s in the oven, you really don’t have to worry about it until it’s done. Generally baking it takes about 45 minutes. The perfect amount of time to run through a classic – Super Mario Bros! Italian food and Italian plumbers, a winning combination!

Ah, nostalgia

After tossing the lasagna in the oven, why not fire up this classic game? Just as much fun today as it was 22 years ago. You all know the story, beautiful princess gets captured by an evil dragon/turtle/thing (really, what is he?) and you must go and save her, all the while jumping over holes, eating mushrooms, and crushing innocent animals to death under the weight of your mighty form. Why Mario, why?
Here is a picture I drew of Mario destroying his enemies:

Mario dishes out some pain

If you ignore my horrible drawing ability (why is his head so big?!?) you will see that Mario really isn’t that friendly of a guy. Why does he kill turtles? Why does he eat some mushrooms, but stomp on others? Are little goombas mushrooms? And what is up with buzzy beetles? More importantly, who here was able to get the ‘turtle tip’ at the end of stage 3-1? I have only been able to do it once. My brother, however, he was a turtle-tipping powerhouse back in the day. I would have him get me tons of lives, and then run through the levels with ease.

BOUNCEY BOUNCEY

Who can forget getting to the first castle and beating the fake Bowser? Princess, here I come! Knock Bowser into the lava and then go collect my sweet kiss reward from the Princess. Princess, I’m ready! Wait, what the heck? Toad? “The Princess is in another castle”? Why must you tease me, Toad?

Toad: Royal Tease

Where was I? Oh yes, if you don’t already own this game in some form, it’s totally worth the 500 points on the Virtual Console. If you do already own it in some form, well it’s still worth it. Just beware of stage -1, that stuff is crazy. And stay away from mushrooms, unless they are in delicious lasagna.