Sniff… omg I want all this stuff and little kids wearing….begegegeeee merchandice…..bebebeeee……mario slippers…….aggggggg!!!!!!! I cant stand it!!!!! I feel like ive missed out on EVERYTHING!!!!!!

I don’t remember Nintendo using so many swears back in the day.

I WOULD KILL FOR THOSE KEYCHAINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had one of these. I still remembered that goofy looking girl in that striped outfit.

I actually still have that calendar packed away too, actually. It was pretty kick ass.

Wow…is anyone reading these captions? This is hilarious! I didn’t catch ‘em until I read the “video game watch” one.

Man, I used to think Mario just recently became a whore… Now I see that he’s been a whore all his life!!!! That is a WHOLE lot of crap that now if any kid wore today would kill everyone around him ‘cos they’d laugh themselves to death instantly.

BTW, I’m writing this from 6 feet under… Outrageous!

I HAD THAT CATALOG

Pfft. Roffles.

old=lol….

Holy carp. On page two they’re talking about you “knocking the wall clock four feet off to fufill her very short needs”

WTF!?

And they say “Douchebag” before it becomes popular!

And I’m pretty sure Page 6 is talking about you having your Uncle Larry coming over to rape you while your parents are at work and making him pay with an NES!

DAMN.

did any one see the caption for the battle ship thing?

“the worlds most boring table top game leaps into the new millenium!” and “the worst use of a new technology” lol

“what the hell is this”

hahaha that is pure comedy gold

It says douchbag on page 4.

The captions were obviously added in. It says WTF on page 9…

http://www.progressiveboink.com/archive/nintendocat/6.htm

O.o
i dont think i would say that in a nintendo catalog….

so yeah they were added.

*it

I love this nostalgia. We had those bean bag chairs.

OK, I found that page six a little over-board…

About as funny as Conan’s “Actual Items”, which is to say, not at all. I would have much preferred a PDF of scans of the unmodified catalog… that would have been amusing enough.

Sad part is… I HAVE all of this stuff

OMG! Am I the only person who notices that the front page guy’s pants ACTUALLY FIT?!?! O.o

what was with the 90’s? everyone wore sweaters and jeans!

THe best caption is by the Nintendo Game and Watch Watch

“Buy this watch because paying attention in church isnt important”

Damn i post that then i acuall read more and realize they arnt real captions

dissapointed

I’m sure I still have several of those lying around somewhere…

That stuff is crazy…..memories

Well the captions are obviously made up.
Thank’s again Progressive Boink for another hideously formatted article that proves to be very funny.

omg amazing!

pretty much every pop culture phenomenon has whored (or pimped) itself to some degree…from star wars, to kiss, to the simpsons. If Blinx or Ratchet and Clank or Sly Cooper were insanely popular the way mario was in the 80’s, they’d whore themselves too.

Bibbles…?

With all the cursing, it’s really obvious that the captions were added. But seriously, I can’t stop laughing. This is absolute GOLD.

That Link keychain would be SO awesome though.

…”Also, you’ll look like a douchebag.”

Roffles.

“Note: Hats do not actually leave comet trails.”

HAHAHAHHA…. I love this so much I could soil myself.